Friday, January 19, 2007



The twins have us so busy I don't know whether to shit or wind my wrist watch. I should probably take this thing down, but I can't bear to part with it yet. I've been talked into going MySpace and what little spare time I have is spent there under the name Mister Blutarsky. Blogging's not as fun there, but I like the music and vids. Come check it out...

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

My but little Johnny is Getting Plump.

Do you know why little Johnny is getting plump? It's probably because he goes to school with my kid. Little T, the 5 year old, started kindergarten this year. After the first day I asked him the standard questions... How was it, What did you learn today, did you behave yourself and listen to the teacher blah, blah, blah. I finally got around to what'd you do in PE. "We didn't go to PE dad." "Well, what'd you do at recess?" We didn't have recess, it was too hot.

Day two...What'd you learn today, blah, blah, what did you do in PE? "We didn't go to PE, we had drama today." What did you do at recess? "Nothing." Did you have recess? "Yes, but we weren't allowed to run, it was too hot."

Bottom line, the kid only has PE twice a week and the instructor is notoriously anit-competition. One day they did Yoga, and the next they juggled scarfs. If I wanted him to do Yoga and juggle scarfs I would have had him join the God Damned circus.

I want him to get his little heart pumping 5 days a week by hurling round rubber balls at the heads of the weak and slow children. Once they've been eliminated he can then move on to the big game, the fast popular kids, and maybe, just maybe, if he really works at it, he'll feel the euphoria of being the sole survivor, YES, dodgeball champion!

If not dodge ball, I want him playing a sport that involes a ball, or puck, and I want them to keep score. I want him to feel the sting of being pick last at sport he's not yet good at, and the thrill of being picked first in the sports he is. If not a sport that involes a ball, or puck, then a race, a by God get off your ass and run like a banshee race. I want him to get a blue ribbon for coming in first, a big fat blue ribbon that is shinier and nicer than the second and third place ribbons.

At recess, I want him playing smear the queer everyday. Ok, "tackle the man with the ball" if you prefer. I want him having races across the monkey bars, oh wait, a kid broke their arm on them a couple of years ago and they had them removed, never mind. I want him to play tag, and fall down and scrape himself up evey once in a while, and get dirty. I WANT HIM TO BE A KID FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!!!!!!!!!!!

Jesus H Christ the school system is already driving me to a rubber room, and he's only in kindergarten!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Chavez calls Bush the Devil

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez called president Bush "the devil" today in a speech before the United Nations.

"Yesterday the devil came here" Chavez said of Bush. "Right here. Right here. And it smells of sulfur still today, this table that I am now standing in front of."

You might check your shorts for Chimichanga seepage as the source of that smell.

You'd also better consider yourself unbelievably lucky that your country was blessed with large oil reserves, otherwise no one would give two shits about what you have to say. They barely do as it is. You've got a lot of oil, so that gives you the right to start running your mouth and buddying up with Iran, Syria, and Cuba. Nice bed mates Hugo.

Friday, September 15, 2006

That's it, He's Got My Vote, Maybe

To me the headlines should read "Kinky tells it like it is".

The controversial Independent candidate for Texas governor Kinky Friedman is under fire for blaming the rise in Houston area crime rate to the "crack heads and thugs" who evacuated from Katrina.

Although that maybe a gross generalization, to me it’s refreshing that a public figure has the balls to not walk on egg shells in this day and age of liberal mercenaries constantly blowing the political correctness whistle.

Houston police say 59 of the 232 murders that have occurred in the last 8 months have involved Katrina victims either as suspects or victim. Must be a case of corrupt cops practicing profiling.

Wake up people. Smell the coffee and take some responsibility.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Harvard to End Early Admissions Policy


So you're telling me if you are a go getter from an affluent background and want to apply to Harvard early to increase your chances of admission you can't because that's not fair to others who do not apply early for various socio-economic reasons?

That sounds like a driven person that should be going to fucking Harvard to me.

Why in this country do we so often squash hard work and initiative for the sake of statistics and quotas?

Shut up Early

No kidding, regardless of what side you're on in the gay marriage debate, does anyone give a shit that Bad Pitt says he won't marry Angelina until all people that want to wed can do so?

I've said it before and I'll say it again...Shut up Early, before I hit you in the face with a shovel.

Actually, it's probably genius on his part. Now he doesn't have to pay some ball washing attorney a fortune to draw up an elaborate prenup.

Well, for what it's worth, I'm not giving up beer until there's world peace, so there, now I'm an activist like you. I feel so empowered.

Saturday, August 19, 2006


"That little thing who does my laundry speaks no English but if you saw her you'd say isn't she lovely..." --- Broken Face, The Pixies

I'm a tired Mo Fo, and yes, it's hard, but I'm not dead yet.

Peace out.

The Goat.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Spilling the Goat Beans

...a place I'd like to be, a place I'd like to be,a place I'd like to be, a place I'd like to be,a place I'd like to be,a place I'd like to be,a place I'd like to be,a place I'd like to be, a place I'd like to be,a place I'd like to be, a place I'd like to be,a place I'd like to be,a place I'd like to be,a place I'd like to bea place I'd like to be, a place I'd like to be,a place I'd like to be, a place I'd like to be,a place I'd like to be,a place I'd like to be,a place I'd like to be..."
--- Tugboat, Galaxie 500

The She Goat spawned twins this last week, a boy and a girl, that makes a total of 3 kidds, two with dingusses and one without. That's why I've been a bit screwed in the head over the past nine months. They are beautiful. All the "oh shit, what about this, what about that.." melts away when you hold them and look into their little eyes. I am a happy Goat.

Well, there you have it. The Goat beans.